| On the dingoness of it all |
[Apr. 8th, 2005|03:23 am] |
Ok, this post is gonna tackle a few issues.
1) Dingo's moving to Des Moines
2) Cowards and how quickly they get dropped
3) Stuff that needs to be returned to certain persons.
first off...I've found a place that i resonate verry strongly with. So much so that an impromptu spell got me a $25 bar tab and I found the woman i was looking for!
Im very pleased with the energy in DM and I cant wait to get out there and established...also there i can have a dog. Something which is verry important to me.
secondly. Cutting and running is a cowards way out and I wont be associated with cowards. Despite my moving i had every intention of keping up communication and energy with the circle... now thats done. Im digusted witht he cowardice shown by someone who I thought was strong. Come around me again and youd better be baring your throat.
thirdly, Aurora i have the jewlry that you wanted me to check out. It should be cleansed of any negative energy. As for not returning Emails, i've been in a wierd place mentally recently. Im nto cutting you off i just have other things on my mind. which admittedly are more important to me than friends.
so that about does it for this edition of the hard fast fuckin truth behind the dingo. See you all in Des Moines!
-UD |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 3rd, 2005|10:24 pm] |
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Well phase one of mapping will happen tonight hopefully, followed by lots of hearty rest...mmmm rest. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 3rd, 2005|03:56 am] |
I cant figure out why i wanted to post on here.
I think it has something to do with the mounting tnesions in the circle i protect. Out of resepct for all of you im gonna post something for each of you here
Bigbbearjt and Adocias_Dreams
I need to know EXACTLY how your students are behaving/fairing email me seperately with as much detail as possible
Both Students ( i apologise for not remebering your LJ names)
I need to know in as full a detail as you are allowed, what your own takes on the situations are. Dont worry im not judging you and im not going to turn around and send them to your respective mentors. But if you're gonna get handed off to me i'd like to hear your case for things.
Ok secondarily to my Tribe
Hunter, you and I are gonna sit down this week at some point and walk back together. We're gonna find the peices to that D/L that you picked up last week, as well as helping you peice together the bits that you're missing.
Merlin/Sage, i wanna go over the house defenses with the both of you at some point in the near future.
ALL: Ok the big push to map chicago will begin in three weeks time...when im able to go get a proper map and start planning out routes... were gonna take this one area of the city at a time. Starting with THE LOOP. I want to map it out and figure out all the points on it to find the temples there. We allready think that the Hankock bldg is a temple and that means the beach opposite it is the water temple which means that the whole city goes off of a sky chart for directions ((because W/ and E/ are flipped))
as for me im gonna go to bed.
-UD |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 1st, 2005|03:11 am] |
It's in the quiet spaces where i realize what it means to be the alpha of this tribe. Paul just went home...Ziggy is asleep on the air matress recovering from heartbrake. Byron is up and about, and Im sitting here thinking about life.
The song exestentialism on prom night is echoing in my head... I love music and that song in particular is amazingly focusing. there is alot of magic around right now...The wills of everyone around us are flaring and fluctuating and keeping those i love safe is so hard. I think though that im really living my dream...im a hero and everyday im keeping me and mine afloat...and they keep me afloat.
Other Stephi came over this last weekend and hung out with all of us. It was great having her here. Some unexpected things went down, *Chuckles* nothing bad but freeing to be sure. and She ended up buying ALOT of incense...for which im gratefull. She resonated but im afraid shes a bit fluffy as well. It's a problem ive been deeling with...all these women in my life who come so close to understanding the energy that moves in the world and then end up being slaves to it...or one way of thinking...its the same with every religion though..theyre all limitors...Everything, gods,goddesses, voodoo gods...are all ways of shaping ideas and intellegences in our minds so that the little part of us that can percive and alter the energy of the universe can function. My biggest dream is to seamlessly integrate my concious and subconcious thought to achive greater effects,. it takes time though and I know that. *smiles* but its why im searching.
Two years ago if you had assked me would i be here, the Headman of a tribe of Energy Aware Persons...i would have asked if you had been smoking the crack lol...but now i lead one tribe and protect a circle...
speaking of which, I had a very interesting vision today aboutthe student of one of my circle mates. it involved me giving him a stern talking to about the nature of anger in magic. Im worried that im actually going to have to have this conversation/beatdown with him. But i think it may be the only way he learns or learns to walk away.
*sighs* But then hes not my student...i have no students anymore...I was dissapointed by the lasck of motivation from my students and cut them loose. there is no patience to lean from an instructor anymore... I just pray taht the right mind comes into my life with a willingness to learn my ways and use them to thier fullest. Problem is i know that this is probably going to either A) Be a male or B) Be a female i end up having a physical relationship with. neither of which are bad but they're just facts.
I actually think i know who may be coming my way but she allready sounds well versed in the pagan tradition which is a serious mistake... not that traditional paganism is bad (its a good set of tools) but what im teaching is far beyond that... What im teaching is the manipulation of the self as a tool to move the baseline energy of the universe. Yes i use gods and chants an dincense but primarily for the states they induce...
anyway im ranting and should by all rights sleep
-UD |
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| *sighs* |
[Feb. 22nd, 2005|02:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Real Big Fish- Say Ten | ] |
Reactionary people annoy me to no end.
Firstly to my student...
there is only one way that will end in my silencing you...and that is if you become a threat to others and actively enjoy it...or if you absolutely want out of this entire layer of reality and never want magic ever again. If niether of those is the case then im not planning on taking ANYTHING away.
However! If you are going to learn from me you have to be ready to learn and not question the things I tell you.
Secondly to my protectorate....
As much as im there to help you with your students (because I protect you both,and have been asked to help) I will deal with matters of my tribemates ON MY OWN... i dont mean to be rude or abrasive but the things that go on within my tribe are between the tribe mates and no one else. I mean no disrespect to you my peers but these people are as close to me as my own blood and only when i absolutely need it, and when they ask for it will I involve others.
Thirdly for those of you who may feel im lying to you by omitting anything.
SECRETS and LIES are two diffrent things... should I keep a secret its because i have a dman good reason...I will not lie to any of you! But I may hide things i dont feel are appropriate for you. There is a diffrence between being honest and sharing EVERYTHING. Especially in the world of magics.
Finally to everyone
The Dingo is damn tired... this weekend hes doing NOTHING!!!!! abosolutely nothing. Hes gonna sit around the house and chill. Hes gonna eat ramen and play music and maybe a video game... but hes not going to games, hes not staying out for all hours, hes not treking to ANYWHERE...not dealing with ANY manifestations, aparitions,deamons or anything...im having a freakin weekend... Me, my tribe and my home...thats it. If I have to go out and sleep under a bridge to get some me time I will...but this weekend is for Me! ill be back afterwards to go back to being the strong supportive leader for my tribe and protector for my circle but i need a bit of time off or im gonna implode. |
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| On Magic |
[Feb. 22nd, 2005|04:24 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Yellowcard- Gifts and Curses | ] |
So, im 23 years old.
I havent been around as long as alot of folks...and for a good majority of my life i've been a skeptic. Over the course of my life ive witnessed alot of very strange things that i couldnt begin to try to explain. A dead snake erupting into a thousand smaller ones. Rollerskating Blindfolded. Yellow eyes in the woods watching me walk in the dark. Getting lost for an hour in a patch of woods about two acres in size. A Ouija board screaming as it got thrown onto a fire...God speaking to me through pennies, and stars and songs and strange old ladies in Diners.
Above all of it though looking back has been a common theme, and its that in this world there are far too many things at work and to try to define them all would be folly. I have tried applying the inkling of that idea to my entire life. I've never learned one thing to intensly, lest it shape me to rigidly into one form.
Faith, Gaming, Music, Art, Friends...those things define my life more than anything and in alot of ways those are who I am...
Its at 4am that I really ever start to get truly introspective. I cant claim that im being wholly honest because everything I do or say is corrupted by my viewpoint, which at times is profanely arrogant. And at others is annoyingly mysterious. You can really tell when im trying hard because i speak in sentence fragments *chuckles* and when im bullshitting because ill start talking really fast. When im merely upset my voice goes higher in pitch and when im truly angry i speak from so deep in my chest that I sound like a diffrent man.
That being said id like to help everyone out by defining how i have and will continue to practice. It has come up recently that people have had a hard time categorizing my style. Ecclectic comes up, Animist/ Shammanistic comes up, Shintoism seems to bear alot of resemblance but i blame that on my strange love for Japaneese culture.
At the heart of my belief is the idea that everything works on some principle or another. And that really there are a small set of principles that everything works on. And by finding the tools that let us tap those principles we are able to carry out their more defined/deluded processes. I use the term "Energy" alot because all things are made up of energy in one form or another...sometimes the energy hardenss and forms atoms...sometimes its free floating and causes those atoms to split and reform...as humans we are incapable of quantifying all energys with one sense... its harder to "Hear" heat but we can feel it through our skin, We cnat taste something by merely touching it, we cant allways see a smell... in that way sometimes we dont allways use our brains (that huge organ that doesnt do much on a regular basis) for much other than thinking...which is really just en\coding the energys of time and finding new and intersting facts and ideas from it...
Im off topic because its early...anyway my idea of magic is that it works on the same principles as the rest of the universe. Its is in fact just one of those principles...and the use of tools to craft that energy are the tools that most witches/pagans/shammans/etc use. When we learn to manipulate the principles we can begin to eschew tools or find the ones that work best for us at the time and become truly free of road, craft, or whatever other false man-made structure we place on it. Our wills are the strongest tools in the universe and when we decide to move that energy with them we can achive spectacular feats that can even "defy physics"
I am on a constant quest to find those principles that define magic...wether it be throiugh the categorization of everything as a spirit or using the things around them that naturally gather and store energy (because of ambient will)
At present i am presented with alot of really good examples of the Vanity associated with the faulty deffinitions and Huburi of those around me. Its taxing to say the least to see these people who's minds containt that spark...that little bit extra. The creativity to rise above the ambient will and find their way through the twisting pathways. The one im most concerned with is one of my closest...
She, through her old teachers fault, has a very jaded view on the world and allows herself to entertain thoughts of accruing the ambient will's version of bad credit. She told me tonight that "she knew but she didnt care"...something that drove a spike into my heart.
I made a promise a long time ago to put people like that in the hospital and take away their energys...even if it ment putting them into the ground...something ive only had to do once...and not to a human.
Remeber that energy abounds in all things and that everything can be affected by it. Animals warped by will can cause greater harm and drive others to do the same. The story of the familliar that i had to put down can wait for another night though. Im rambling like crazy because my attentin got split. Ill be sure to pick this up again later...
I love all of you who can read this. I care for you and want to see all of us happy.
-UD |
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| On breaking the "laws of physics" |
[Feb. 18th, 2005|12:46 pm] |
Well last night was, to say the least, interesting.
Had to abbreviate the Tribe ritual thanks to the 19 degree weather. It was cold and it felt like we all died and were reborn. Not bad for the purposes of the ritual. Detsune felt disconnected though...like she didnt want to be there.
Still, The Children of the Second City are now a Tribe with four principle members.
Myself our Leader/Alpha/Chief
Bluegiant our Hunter
Razorbat our Witch Doctor
and Twilightsblood our Heart
the four of us are bound as one tribe.
well Ziggy is over so ill post more later...remind me to tell yall about fermi labs |
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| A calm in the storm |
[Feb. 17th, 2005|04:52 am] |
I can feel it...in my feet...somethings pounding against the building like it wants in...and it cant come in *smiles*
I am drunk...but no tin the classic sense... I have just drank an entire bottle of Christian Brothers VS Brandy...but it was only the ghost of the brandy... I have finished a clensing ritual that took the better part of 2 hrs to do. I danced before my altar...presented my blades to it. Reenergized my Athme (sp?) bathed in my blood (ritually) and then bathed in hot water.
I then went to my room ate some coffee ice cream (as i didnt want to drink any coffee at this hour and it works just as good (plus its tasty) and proceded to force myself to down the entier bottle of Christian brothers filled with water that was in attendance at my ritual. my body is clean of the taints... my energy is free for the moment and I am free as well.
Clarity brings strange and interesting thoughts. Emails have been crafted and sent off... Plans have been made and completed...
I am ready for the battle tommorow...i am ritually clensed and cut...the way is prepared for me and mine...
*smiles*
there is but one thing left to do.
-UD |
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| A message for my student |
[Feb. 15th, 2005|05:23 am] |
Yes this is a memetic encoding. Its ment for the one who can understand it...email me back in english with your reply... I need to talk to you
Kabishiolai mi lothienlathar
en mistrae la thathulientanal kabiosile shianthanalai
themeata komo sava an fiara masathelana. Esha ma thanuliel then thasa grava pax
Isam shemata una grebasanama...shemath shemat shemsala en visara.
I cant stress this enough
Sepresach unbuebo en asanti...
Sema Sev Sliache!!!
-UD |
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| The last two days |
[Feb. 15th, 2005|03:58 am] |
So...interesting last two days kids.
*closes his eyes* where to begin.
Lets begin at the end and work our way back shall we?
Point the first--- Fighting a follower of Bacchus...
Well i fought a Bacchnae tonight... a very close friend of mine...earth and air with delusions of fire. Hes a warrior and a reveler...a full fledged grown on the penensula Italian/Romani/Jewish follower of Bacchus. Hes damn good at what he does. In hand to hand better than me. He has some issues with his sword work...but i was only boffer fighting with him tonight. Still he managed to wind me and to soul-cut my cheek with his intent...pretty powerfull stuff.. He was wearing the Grape vine wreath i made for him when he fought... I really need to get a mantle of chango at some point...especially if thats what embodying your god looks like.
Point the second--- Tying up a loose end...
So i've been having romantic urgings for a few people of late...one of them is my student and she lives too far away...one of them is my mentor and the same thing applies. The third is now taken and also lives out of state...and the fourth ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) adoncias_dreams seems to reciprocate...So after the ritual on Sunday my oh so kind host decided to cast a healing spell. Unfortuneately it was at about the time I was letting down my defences and was verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry weak to energy...he didnt warn me he was casting *grumbles* and the energy from it hit me like a lead brick. Not that im upset. It cleared up an issue of attraction and started a nice relationship...though things did get a bit...sprigesqe and so when she came ove to visist for V-day we had the "slow it down speach" thing is we both tried to launch into it at the same time which is a good sign. I still dont know around her though...she has alot in common with my mentor magically though shes less far along. She claims to be Lillim (not in those words mind you) which is a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAD sign as i do not get along with members of the first womans brood... also she claimed some connection to the great shining fluffy one (thatd be Louie (aka Lucifer)) which is never a strong sign. I am at heart verry leery of "high priests and priestesses" because half the time their full of it and the other half the time they're too enmeshed in stuff id rather not deal with. Im a shamman and a warrior...but it doesnt mean im out to go tangle with the energies all around the area and warp them to my liking... I work WITHIN the flow...
Point the third--- The ritual
It went really well. I did my sword thing...he did his Shammanistic-druidy thing... presented the life giver blade...bound the deathbringer blade...wine and cakes...and there ya have it. The elements were impressed. though fire wasnt verry strong. I was mildly annoyed at my loss of the incense ((which would have helped fire immensly...((trying to light votives...outdoors...in the rain....baaaaaaad idea)
anywhoo thats me for now. Wards are back up... Im gonna have to see what it was my Bacchinae did... he was strong out there...probably just all the reveling he does (the boy parties for a living) making his connection to his power stronger.
Peace be with you my students and friends.
-UD |
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| Battlegrounds |
[Feb. 10th, 2005|03:16 am] |
*sighs*
This battlefield makes me weary...I remeber emerald hills and saphire lakes. Deep forrests older than some of my ancestors...and younger ones just planted and ready for time.
Im now on this windswept plain...this angry lake. So much chaos is in the air...and there are so many enemies. I sometimes think i was better off bound in my chains...unable to move in the world with eyes open but *shrugs*
I think the time is coming for a gathering. Ill know more later... But something tells me I need to consolidate my fragments into one focused place. That means i need the parts of me that i have given out to come to me. at the very least all that are here on this battlefield.
I dont know what i can do just yet...but i need to call my Sylph,and My bears to my side...I need my mentor but she is so far away...(funny how thats working with my student too) I cant imagine that either of us are dooing as good as we can.
anyway..something is missing...im trying to fill the void...to ease the hunger and shore up the hole that i find in my spirit. Perhapse some new music or meditation.
All that aside and I really need to take care of that "Other urge" *chuckles* trust me to be blessed with a power source like that. Though i wouldnt trade it for the world. I thank the father spirit in all his majesty and strength for making me as he did...when he did. He made me strong and taught me humility early so that i was prepared for what came to pass...in that way he was my first mentor i suppose *chuckles*
anyway now im ranting...
to my first student, one who i cherish most, be strong in this time of trials and you will walk away infinitely stronger than you began...you have my love and my support even as far away as that suburb you live in *chuckles* I'll try to get out to see you soon.
-UD |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 8th, 2005|02:48 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Story of the year- Until the day I die | ] |
So, how to christen this thing I call a place.
*sighs* so as to avoid sounding fluffly let me begin simply by saying that im not going to go into every detail...im going dumb things down for this journal...so that those who read it can possibly gain a bit more insight into how i am experienceing the world i have stepped into.
To begin...
I am a child of Dingo...the scavenger-dog. I find what needs to be found...usually for my own survival or that of my pack.
I am also owe Fealty to the great Orisha King Shango (chango) lord of Fire and justice.
I am an animist...I see the spirits in all things and try to understand their connection to myself and the world around me.
I have three wonderfull students who i am immensly proud of. And i hope to see them make their ways through this world confidently and without too much trouble ;)
I am also a warrior. I fight everyday against the spirits that wish to harm those I love, and against the ignorance and narccisim that most humans feel. We are not the center of the universe...we are not super powerfull...we are small fish in a big pond...but even small fish can make waves.
I teach Caution over Controll
I teach Ettiquite over Honor
I teach Emotion over Rationalization
I teach Courage over Strength
I teach Loyalty first
I teach Independance last...
I am the Urban Dingo... |
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